Individuals who are in close association tend to “act out” their hostilities toward each other as well as to impress each other favorably. They seem “hell bent” for revealing their weaknesses and fears as well as their strong qualities and loving traits. When a crisis in a friendly relationship develops, the forces that attract should be stronger than the forces that repel. The positive values that individuals give to each other should exceed the costs and inconveniences which are always part of the deal. When the “values” dominate, the individuals are able to influence each other constructively, no matter what happens.
Even if nations are to coexist in peace, they must pay the price by learning how to understand each other and how to appraise realistically and fairly the events that take place. Where there is a strong will to establish peace, there will certainly be ways for making it real.
There are stormy days in relationships between groups, just as there are stormy days in the relationships between individuals. It is of major importance to know how to weather these storms when the winds of confusion roar overhead. Deep-level understanding is necessary to the maintenance of peace.
We may look ahead and foresee the possible consequences of our actions. We may try to estimate and predict what is going to happen next. The rash, thoughtless action may be unwise because it brings about consequences that are undesirable. A “bad” situation is one that gets out of control. Part of the “badness” may have been in us for not having foreseen what should have been done, no matter how ornery other people chose to behave.
It is our responsibility to ourselves and to others to predict, as accurately as we can, the logical consequences of our actions. This may be done by taking into consideration as many facts as possible, as well as the thoughts and feelings of others.
We assume that the person who can be calm and fair-minded in the face of controversies has learned that the outcome of playing fair with others is much more satisfactory than trying to deceive. He is one who has acquired considerable self-knowledge and understands people.
Through communication we come into contact with the better selves of people. For example, their capacity to reason and to be reasonable. There are types of goodness that can not be made obvious on first sight. Respect for the thoughts and feelings of others becomes a major virtue.