If I am in the habit of asking questions of myself, then I may have sufficient interest in people to ask questions of them also. If I acquire sufficient confidence in myself, so that I exert sufficient energy to solve my own problems, then I can bring about the things I want to happen occasionally. If I can experiment with different ways of doing things, then I can find out which way works out the best.
One type of reaction may work in one situation; but a different situation may require a different reaction. If I can learn to appraise my environment realistically, then I can hope to deal with it successfully. If I can judge people fairly, then I can have a constructive influence on them.
For example, “What can I do about this situation?” may be a better question for me to ask than, “Why are these people doing these things to annoy me?”
I should not look exclusively at what others are doing, nor should I allow myself to be unduly upset about them. Frequently, I should look within and find out what I am doing; how I really feel, and how I can change negative feelings into positive ones. Perhaps my actions are aggravating a situation that got off to a bad start. Perhaps I can find ways of adjusting myself to what is going on, changing a “hopeless” situation into a hopeful one.
After I have set my house in order, I am prepared to help the other fellow set his house in order. The mastery of one’s self, or an affirmative step in that direction, is part of devoting one’s life to the service of mankind.
Those who suffer most, and are faced with the most difficult problems to solve, may develop great wisdom in the process of adjusting themselves to social realities.
Energy and understanding seem to become available to the individual who sets out to solve the more complicated problems. If we say, “Take it easy,” all of the time, we may be renouncing life and not taking advantage of the challenges that it offers. As our interests outside ourselves increase, our energies may also increase.
When we are lost in concentration on some subject (so that our self-feelings diminish), our energies may rise to a point of maximum efficiency.
Concentration is the exclusion from awareness of that which does not pertain to the problem at hand. It is a selecting and a focusing process. It orients us in the direction of order, and works against chaos. It tends to reduce confusion and lack of confidence by stressing that which pertains to the problem at hand. We find a degree of happiness and self-realization in a concentrated effort, particularly when it is focused on practical results.
But “reality” is always changing, always trying to upset our preconceived notions with something new, some pleasant or unpleasant surprise that doesn’t fit into our scheme of things. We exist in a state of constant stress and uncertainty because of this fact. How adequately we handle the ups and downs of stress and uncertainty will determine to a large degree how well we get along. We must constantly be revising our views to fit the changing realities around us. This includes the changing moods in ourselves, and the changing attitudes of others to what we are doing.
We must realize that it is difficult to think clearly and objectively, altering our views when necessity demands it. Time and patience are necessary for getting the facts straight and considering problems from new angles. More effort is required to get many facts than just a few; and more effort is required to consider a problem from several points of view than just one. More effort is required to be fair to others than is required to be unfair. But the effort is frequently well worthwhile. We are in a “fix” at all times. What we do about it is what counts.