We may train ourselves to think more fruitfully in many ways. One way is to show a deep concern for what others believe; what they regard as facts; which facts they consider important; and what they want done in specific situations. We can ask, “Are these proposed actions and policies likely to stimulate good will or ill will between individuals and groups? What results can we predict from them?”
When we listen to what a person is saying, we are interpreting his meanings in terms of his words. But we are also interpreting his behavior and the entire situation in which we are involved. The situation is the context in which the words are spoken, and it is important. We can observe not only the ebb and flow of ideas during a discussion, but changes in feelings which are expressed in tones of voice, gesture, facial expression, posture, etc. There are changes in pace in the interactions between individuals. There will be a series of climaxes and resolutions.
The more accurately we can perceive the individual and the situation, the better we will evaluate what is going on, and the more adequately we will be able to deal with it. We may be able to guess rather accurately what is going to happen next, and to guide the course of events so that things will happen as we want them to happen.
Accurate observation and interpretation of what is taking place can save us from going to extremes. We are not overcredulous or overskeptical, not overhostile or too friendly. We have balanced judgment.
The good personal qualities of an individual may be difficult to find. A wise person at times may seem hesitant and indecisive. In some situations he may not be wise. It may be more difficult for us to discover a hidden virtue than a hidden fault.
Sometimes we think we know a person, and feel that he is all right, until we discover some fault of which we were not aware. Then we go to the opposite extreme and assume that he is “all wrong.” We say, “At last I have discovered the truth!” In disillusionment, we may turn against that person entirely.
When we do this we are overstressing one event instead of seeing the entire picture, which includes the shadows as well as the lights. We should not close our minds to an individual, once we have discovered some imperfections. We should find additional virtues, which may be hidden among a number of shortcomings.
Some defects, like physical deviations, can be easily seen. Other defects, like mental deviations, destructive motives, intense despair, or false standards by which to judge people and situations, may be difficult to perceive and more difficult to understand or change. We have a tendency to overdramatize life and want to think of other people as either heroes or villains. A false set of standards by which to judge people, or an inability to apply knowledge meaningfully and constructively to the situation at hand, may be a tragic handicap to an individual or a group.
The person who is balanced, mature and fair in judgment is not easily misled. He is not easily deceived by inflammatory language, which tends to incite us against certain individuals or groups as if they were “total villains” in the drama of life. The mature individual can see the relationship of the parts to the whole—how the specific situation fits into the general pattern. For example, he evaluates the behavior of others wholesomely. He has sportsmanship. If a person is obnoxious, he can say, “This is only a part of his personality that is being expressed now. His better self knows better. He can learn. On other occasions, he can be expected to act more wisely than he did this time.”