If “Take it easy” is good advice in our contacts with others, it is also good advice in personal affairs. If we can relax purposefully, we can often release the creative capacities of the mind, which are vast indeed. Such relaxation can become a highway to higher states of consciousness and awareness.

We can be highly “awake” when we seem to be “half-asleep,” because then both our conscious and unconscious minds may be functioning together efficiently and interrelating their efforts.

Our inner tensions may be reduced and pushed into the back­ground for a time. We may become deeply and subtly aware of what is going on inside of us—how we feel; what others may be feeling and thinking; what we really want out of life; and what practical steps we can take toward realizing these personal and meaningful objectives. But that is only part of the story. We can become highly aware of how we can be helpful to others.

In these states of alert passivity, we can make suggestions and give commands to our “inner selves.” We can plant motives in our subconscious minds as we plant seeds in a garden, and the seeds can bear wholesome fruit.

Each individual is essentially creative and constructive in his drives, a fact for which we can be thankful. The drive to create is universal, but the direction the drive takes may be largely up to the individual, subject to his will and his purposes. It is also related to his social environment, his attitudes toward other people, and their attitudes toward him.

We have considerable control over our personal destinies. A person can, to a remarkable extent, change himself for the better. How effectively he can do this depends on how well he learns the means by which this change can be accomplished. Through gaining insights, we grow. These insights, however personal and unique, are linked up with the insights of others, particularly with those of individuals with whom we are in daily association.

We are interested in those intuitions which release the creativ­ity of individuals, making for liveliness, energy, and happiness, and at the same time enabling them to get along better. There is a kind of altruistic and sociable “individualism” that we may want to develop, hoping that international peace and good will may be established on such a foundation.

“Individualism” is generally conceived in terms of the indi­vidual who is against society. The individual and society are never in perfect accord, nor should they be. But there can be an individ­ualism in which the individual is more fair-minded than the “aver­age person,” and more willing to help others in times of need.

We see best on an equal plane, and communicate most spon­taneously as equals. We are likely to throw our capacity to evaluate out of focus when we put on airs of superiority, or imagine our­selves to be vastly inferior to others.

When we put ourselves “above” others by imagining our­selves to be more successful, more intelligent, more powerful, or better—we are in for suffering. Our perceptions may be distorted. The progress we make toward the illusive goals of exclusiveness and eminence may isolate us from people. We may lose the “com­mon touch.” If we care about those we leave behind, we suffer because they are so far behind us. If we do not care about them, we suffer because of our incapacity to sympathize with them.

It is also a mistake to imagine that we are inferior to others, as that makes it difficult for us to see them as they are and ourselves as we are.

One person can be superior to another in one respect but not in other respects. For example, one may be “superior” in educa­tion, but “inferior” in accomplishment. One may be superior as young and energetic, but inferior as inexperienced. One may be wise but in poor health, etc. What is a superiority from one point of view might be regarded as an inferiority from another. It is good to be accurate in our thinking because accurate thought stimulates careful observation. It may save us from the pitfalls of overgeneralizing. When we are thinking in general terms, exclusive of vivid details, our thinking is likely to be blurred.

We can postulate the ideas that we are social equals, and put our superior abilities at the service of others. We realize that in­dividuals are not equally endowed in strength, beauty, ability, or in any other respect. Each individual is unique.

It is indeed difficult at times to be fair-minded, congenial, in­dustrious, considerate of others, and able to radiate cheer. It is difficult to find purposes worthy of great effort and enthusiasm. It is not easy to display self-control in tense and trying situations or to listen patiently and understandingly [to what others say.

These are the rarer virtues. Perhaps they are to be highly valued for that reason. They may, however, be consciously de­veloped. We can train ourselves to behave as though we were not whipped by environment. We can develop a sense of humor.

The product of education is the character of the individual. We can not only ask, “How much does he know?” but, “Is he a good sport? Can he play a good game and be fair-minded to mem­bers of the other team?”

It is good to be aware of the things that bother us, the things we should be doing, and the things that other people really need. This awareness should motivate us to do something to bring about better conditions.

When people are together, they tend to talk about things that are wrong. They express their attitudes in the way they appraise the situation. The practical person may suggest something specific to be done to improve conditions. The pessimist says, “Isn’t it terrible? Things have gone so far that nothing can be done about it.” The guilty person says, “Well, don’t blame me.” The self-righteous person finds someone to blame and accuse. (When people are together they sometimes act out in their interpersonal relationships a spontaneous tragedy.)

Individuals who are in close association tend to “act out” their hostilities toward each other as well as to impress each other favor­ably. They seem “hell bent” for revealing their weaknesses and fears as well as their strong qualities and loving traits. When a crisis in a friendly relationship develops, the forces that attract should be stronger than the forces that repel. The positive values that individuals give to each other should exceed the costs and in­conveniences which are always part of the deal. When the “values” dominate, the individuals are able to influence each other con­structively, no matter what happens.

Even if nations are to coexist in peace, they must pay the price by learning how to understand each other and how to appraise realistically and fairly the events that take place. Where there is a strong will to establish peace, there will certainly be ways for making it real.

There are stormy days in relationships between groups, just as there are stormy days in the relationships between individuals. It is of major importance to know how to weather these storms when the winds of confusion roar overhead. Deep-level under­standing is necessary to the maintenance of peace.

We may look ahead and foresee the possible consequences of our actions. We may try to estimate and predict what is going to happen next. The rash, thoughtless action may be unwise because it brings about consequences that are undesirable. A “bad” situ­ation is one that gets out of control. Part of the “badness” may have been in us for not having foreseen what should have been done, no matter how ornery other people chose to behave.

It is our responsibility to ourselves and to others to predict, as accurately as we can, the logical consequences of our actions. This may be done by taking into consideration as many facts as possible, as well as the thoughts and feelings of others.

We assume that the person who can be calm and fair-minded in the face of controversies has learned that the outcome of playing fair with others is much more satisfactory than trying to deceive. He is one who has acquired considerable self-knowledge and un­derstands people.

Through communication we come into contact with the better selves of people. For example, their capacity to reason and to be reasonable. There are types of goodness that can not be made obvious on first sight. Respect for the thoughts and feelings of others becomes a major virtue.

We may train ourselves to think more fruitfully in many ways. One way is to show a deep concern for what others believe; what they regard as facts; which facts they consider important; and what they want done in specific situations. We can ask, “Are these pro­posed actions and policies likely to stimulate good will or ill will between individuals and groups? What results can we predict from them?”

When we listen to what a person is saying, we are interpreting his meanings in terms of his words. But we are also interpreting his behavior and the entire situation in which we are involved. The situation is the context in which the words are spoken, and it is important. We can observe not only the ebb and flow of ideas during a discussion, but changes in feelings which are expressed in tones of voice, gesture, facial expression, posture, etc. There are changes in pace in the interactions between individuals. There will be a series of climaxes and resolutions.

The more accurately we can perceive the individual and the situation, the better we will evaluate what is going on, and the more adequately we will be able to deal with it. We may be able to guess rather accurately what is going to happen next, and to guide the course of events so that things will happen as we want them to happen.

Accurate observation and interpretation of what is taking place can save us from going to extremes. We are not overcredulous or overskeptical, not overhostile or too friendly. We have balanced judgment.

The good personal qualities of an individual may be difficult to find. A wise person at times may seem hesitant and indecisive. In some situations he may not be wise. It may be more difficult for us to discover a hidden virtue than a hidden fault.

Sometimes we think we know a person, and feel that he is all right, until we discover some fault of which we were not aware. Then we go to the opposite extreme and assume that he is “all wrong.” We say, “At last I have discovered the truth!” In disillu­sionment, we may turn against that person entirely.

When we do this we are overstressing one event instead of see­ing the entire picture, which includes the shadows as well as the lights. We should not close our minds to an individual, once we have discovered some imperfections. We should find additional virtues, which may be hidden among a number of shortcomings.

Some defects, like physical deviations, can be easily seen. Other defects, like mental deviations, destructive motives, intense despair, or false standards by which to judge people and situations, may be difficult to perceive and more difficult to understand or change. We have a tendency to overdramatize life and want to think of other people as either heroes or villains. A false set of standards by which to judge people, or an inability to apply knowl­edge meaningfully and constructively to the situation at hand, may be a tragic handicap to an individual or a group.

The person who is balanced, mature and fair in judgment is not easily misled. He is not easily deceived by inflammatory lan­guage, which tends to incite us against certain individuals or groups as if they were “total villains” in the drama of life. The mature individual can see the relationship of the parts to the whole—how the specific situation fits into the general pattern. For example, he evaluates the behavior of others wholesomely. He has sportsman­ship. If a person is obnoxious, he can say, “This is only a part of his personality that is being expressed now. His better self knows better. He can learn. On other occasions, he can be expected to act more wisely than he did this time.”

In some instances, it may be good to be introspective and to measure how much progress we are making toward our chosen goals. For example, we can keep a check on how many pages we read or write in a week, with hopes of maintaining a constant out­put, or of increasing that output. That is better than getting mad at ourselves all the time and asking, “Why don’t I read more?” The measuring can be practical, and it can easily stimulate us to greater efforts.

We can measure achievements on different levels. For example, we can keep a check on how effectively we communicate with others, not only on conventional levels but on subtle levels.

In brief, we can create goals and set up motives in ourselves as we go along. When we do this, we are making good use of “freedom of the will.” This may stimulate us to greater effort, and may possibly release inner energies. It may enable us to use our normal energies more efficiently. We may stop actions that are wasteful and give up doing things that do not take us in the di­rection of our chosen goals.

We may feel a deep sense of tragedy when we see others clinging to “false-to-self” goals that inhibit the capacity to love and lead to personal unhappiness, defeat, and discordant relationships with people around us.

Groups may also set up constructive goals and measure the progress they are making toward attaining them. Some of these goals are sanity, peace, democracy, good will, freedom, etc. Truly, they are expressed in abstract terms whose meanings are not too well defined. But we perhaps do need “catch-all” words that can take on added meaning as we grow in understanding. The meanings are partly in us. They are partly in books that have been written and in discoveries that have been made, and are going to be made in the future. These abstract words can guide us in the direction we want to go. They can stand for things we honestly believe are worthwhile.

The welfare of the most wretched and unhappy individual is, to some extent, the concern of those who possess good fortune and happiness. Just as certain individuals (doctors and nurses), who enjoy health, may devote their attention to the sick, those who appreciate the value of peace and freedom may devote their lives to strengthening the forces of peace and freedom throughout the entire world.

Do we have “true-to-self” and “false-to-self” goals, motives, and ambitions? For example, a man might have been happy and successful if he had followed his true-to-self ambition and decided to become a mechanic. Instead, pride may have induced him to become a lawyer, and he may have become unhappy in trying to fit himself into what was for him an artificial pattern.

This does not mean that it is better to be a mechanic than a lawyer. It might have been better for this particular individual: more in line with his interests and abilities. As our interests change, it might be desirable for us to change our occupations. One might spend part of his life as a mechanic and part as a lawyer. It is perhaps unfortunate that we become so specialized in our occupa­tions that by middle age we function like cogs in a machine.

As individuals, we are more important than the things we do. The occupational badge that is pinned on us does not describe us accurately, or do justice to our total personalities. One may be a lawyer, for example, but in being a fair-minded human being, one has attained a dignity that is more important.

Is the most reliable “true-to-self” motive love? Do we do monstrous things to our personalities when we renounce that drive, or try to suppress it? Does a pursuit of power, instead of love, cramp our style of life? Does it sometimes place us in petty and personal conflict with others? Do we choke off our better impulses when we select less comprehensive goals?

We may pity or dislike the miser or arrogant person, because we feel that somewhere along the line they have been false to their “true-to-self goals.” They have made some unwise decisions, and have failed to develop higher potentialities and the ability to like people. We would perhaps pity such people the more if we saw them in terms of the better self that they rejected, or were forced to renounce because of adverse circumstances. We may be over­looking much of the goodness in them hidden from us and also hidden from their awareness. Their faults may talk in louder voices than their virtues.

Are children quick to detect when an individual has turned his back on his better self? Are children sometimes difficult to deceive? Are they quick to detect phony pride and the absence of genuine affection?

We like people who know us and encourage us to follow our true-to-self motives and ambitions. They bolster us against many of life’s petty frustrations and defeats. They lead us to discover that we are free to choose wholesome and productive goals.

If we are going to establish constructive goals, and build them into our personalities, life has to make sense to us. For example, it may be difficult to discover a wholesome course of action in a trying predicament. We may be stymied by events. We may feel that, no matter what we do, things are going to turn out wrong. We may not have the imagination to say, “If I do this, I can predict that things will turn out all right.” We may rail in protest against the way things are lined up against us. That is our way of showing that we don’t understand what is taking place, and we do not know what to do about it.

The ability to see cause-and-effect relationships, and to imagine and act upon hopeful assumptions, is highly desirable. We need to know how to act so as to predict desirable consequences. For example, if I say, “I am miserable,” it may imply that I can see no way out of my misery. However, if I say, “I am miserable at this moment because I am lonely,” I may see a causal relationship between my misery and my loneliness. This realization may suggest a constructive course of action. If I look at the total situation in which I am involved, I become aware of more than my sub­jective feelings. I come to realize that if I seek the company of others, I can predict that my misery will be relieved.

Feelings of friendliness and self-confidence are more rare than feelings of hostility and distrust.

In social situations, it is also important to recognize cause-and-effect relationships. If we know how to handle people, we can frequently change an undesirable and hostile relationship into a profitable and friendly one.

And the relationship between groups, such as nations, can be changed from hostile to friendly, depending on how well cause~ and-effect relationships are understood in the specific and imme­diate situations that confront us. A realistic appraisal of the total situation makes choice or free will possible.

Learning is not restricted to acquiring information about the world in which we live and how people behave, important as such information may be. There is a learning process on another level— learning how to change our behavior as situations require change. We can learn to handle social situations more effectively than we did in the past. We can learn to want to do something we never wanted to do before.

For example, a hostile individual may not have learned how to want to be more friendly, except with those few people who think as he thinks. He may have an idea that being friendly and playing fair with others simply does not pay. He may develop amazingly logical and convincing arguments to prove that he is right, and present an impressive array of “facts” to back up his views. The more deeply he is convinced by his “reasoning,” the more difficulty he may have in changing over to a less hostile attitude.

He has certainly learned something of value when he discovers that friendly actions toward outsiders are more wholesome than hostile ones, and changes his behavior accordingly.

The same is true of the fearful person who adopts a more courageous outlook on life, or the discouraged individual who adopts a more optimistic and energetic view. If the change in life style is drastic, it may resemble a conversion.

In general, we classify some individuals as “incapable of learn­ing,” and others as “capable of learning.” However, when we consider actual individuals (as well as how we classify them in our minds), we find that an individual may be more open to new ideas at one time than at another. On one occasion he may say, “I wish you wouldn’t come around with new ideas when I am busy or upset.” On another occasion he might say, “How fascinating! Tell me more.”

There may be a “good time” and a “poor time” to make sug­gestions or to teach. Some occasions are far better for these pur­poses than others. For example, we should not try to improve a person when we are angry at him, or when he is angry at us. At such times, our advice goes in one ear and out the other.

If I am in the habit of asking questions of myself, then I may have sufficient interest in people to ask questions of them also. If I acquire sufficient confidence in myself, so that I exert sufficient energy to solve my own problems, then I can bring about the things I want to happen occasionally. If I can experiment with different ways of doing things, then I can find out which way works out the best.

One type of reaction may work in one situation; but a different situation may require a different reaction. If I can learn to appraise my environment realistically, then I can hope to deal with it successfully. If I can judge people fairly, then I can have a constructive influence on them.

For example, “What can I do about this situation?” may be a better question for me to ask than, “Why are these people doing these things to annoy me?”

I should not look exclusively at what others are doing, nor should I allow myself to be unduly upset about them. Frequently, I should look within and find out what I am doing; how I really feel, and how I can change negative feelings into positive ones. Perhaps my actions are aggravating a situation that got off to a bad start. Perhaps I can find ways of adjusting myself to what is going on, changing a “hopeless” situation into a hopeful one.

After I have set my house in order, I am prepared to help the other fellow set his house in order. The mastery of one’s self, or an affirmative step in that direction, is part of devoting one’s life to the service of mankind.

Those who suffer most, and are faced with the most difficult problems to solve, may develop great wisdom in the process of adjusting themselves to social realities.

Energy and understanding seem to become available to the individual who sets out to solve the more complicated problems. If we say, “Take it easy,” all of the time, we may be renouncing life and not taking advantage of the challenges that it offers. As our interests outside ourselves increase, our energies may also increase.
When we are lost in concentration on some subject (so that our self-feelings diminish), our energies may rise to a point of maximum efficiency.

Concentration is the exclusion from awareness of that which does not pertain to the problem at hand. It is a selecting and a focusing process. It orients us in the direction of order, and works against chaos. It tends to reduce confusion and lack of confidence by stressing that which pertains to the problem at hand. We find a degree of happiness and self-realization in a concentrated effort, particularly when it is focused on practical results.

But “reality” is always changing, always trying to upset our preconceived notions with something new, some pleasant or unpleasant surprise that doesn’t fit into our scheme of things. We exist in a state of constant stress and uncertainty because of this fact. How adequately we handle the ups and downs of stress and uncertainty will determine to a large degree how well we get along. We must constantly be revising our views to fit the changing realities around us. This includes the changing moods in ourselves, and the changing attitudes of others to what we are doing.

We must realize that it is difficult to think clearly and objectively, altering our views when necessity demands it. Time and patience are necessary for getting the facts straight and considering problems from new angles. More effort is required to get many facts than just a few; and more effort is required to consider a problem from several points of view than just one. More effort is required to be fair to others than is required to be unfair. But the effort is frequently well worthwhile. We are in a “fix” at all times. What we do about it is what counts.

When a new idea comes to mind (if it doesn’t slip from the mind before we write it down), our first impulse may be to shove it aside because it is strange. Acting on this impulse, we may de¬velop the habit of rejecting new ideas. Yet life is interesting to us in terms of the ideas we have.

Those who make scientific discoveries give new ideas a “fighting chance.” They test out their ideas with experiments to find out which ones will work and which ones will not work, and how worthwhile they are.

As we behave toward our own ideas, we behave toward the ideas suggested by others. When someone makes a suggestion, our first reaction may be to knock it down—not examine it carefully and ask questions about it.

Yet it may be good policy to listen carefully to what others are saying once in a while, and try to figure out what they mean. Perhaps we should ask them to elaborate on their ideas. The new idea that sounds silly at first may prove to be very significant on closer examination or if put to a practical test. We tend to give strange ideas, like strange people, the brush-off.

We can block off a new idea by saying, “Don’t clutter up my mind. I have too much to worry about without this intrusion.”

When we are upset and think we have too much on our minds, we may have too little on our minds. We may be allowing one worry or grievance to dominate our attention. We may be frantically warding off the very ideas that would help us most in solving our problems and putting our worries to rout. When we are worried we are in darkness. We need to open the door of our minds and let the sunlight in.
As it is good to accept ideas, it is good to accept people.

The reasons we provide to explain “why” things happen the way they do are supplied by our imaginations. The standards by which we judge ourselves and others are also products of our imaginations. Therefore, we should train our imaginations to be lively and to see things from more than just one point of view. We should conduct experiments and test things out in reality.

It is important to realize that the imagination can be trained. It can be trained to be constructive, rather than destructive, and optimistic, rather than pessimistic. We can tell our eyes to look for things they did not see before, and our ears to hear things they did not hear before.

The standards by which we judge others are of major importance. A person may seem “great” or “ignoble” to us, according to elements in his life that we arbitrarily single out. When we train ourselves to look at people with some objectivity, and from more than just one point of view, we become capable of seeing things we did not see before—virtues as well as vices.

What other people think about us is also important. It is good that others should have lively and constructive imaginations. They too should be willing to conduct experiments and test things out in reality.

I may want them to see my good points as well as my failings. If a person thinks I am a failure, everything I do or say may prove more conclusively to him that I am a failure. I suffer because of the limitations of his imagination.

When he begins to see my behavior from a slightly different angle, and to observe what is really taking place, he may be more fair-minded in judging me. He may recognize in me things that meet his approval. He may even want to follow my example in some things.

I am not in the light as long as my neighbor is in the dark. All people have a right to be accurately and fully informed.

It takes imagination to realize that we face many problems, not just a few, and that our problems are complicated and inter-related with those our neighbors, near and far, are trying to solve. An example of a major problem that we have in common with all mankind is the securing of international peace. Another problem is: How can we expand, rather than restrict, individual and group freedom? When the group does not cherish freedom, the individual can not be very free.

When our imagination is “twisted,” it enables us to think up reasons why we should not do, or can’t do, the things we would earnestly like to do. It helps us to defeat our higher purposes. We may have good intentions, but a faulty imagination will set up obstacles to carrying out these intentions. It may convince us to retreat when we should advance. It may also convince us to go ahead and do things that will hurt ourselves and others when we should not do them.

A twisted imagination may also motivate us to interfere with the freedom of others to express what they believe.

We need to assert control over our imaginations, so that we are the masters and not the slaves of what imagination can conjure up for us. We can direct our imaginative energies along constructive lines by checking our thoughts and keeping them in line with realities, and attempting to predict the results of our actions. We can focus our imagination on problems of major significance. This is far better than letting our imaginations run “hog wild,” filling our minds with doubts, fears, hostilities, negative attitudes and despair. We can make our imagination our friend, not our foe.